Mickey Connolly, Chairman and Founder of Conversant, joins hosts Dave Lipsky and Matt Dodson on Leadership: The Secret Sauce to explore how leadership is shaped in moments of conversation, presence, and awareness.
Leadership often hinges on the quality of attention and response in the moment. When presence is weak, opportunities for alignment and action pass by unnoticed. At Conversant, we see this every day. Leadership is not separate from conversation. It lives inside it. The ability to listen, interpret, and respond with intention is what allows leaders to build trust, create clarity, and move work forward in meaningful ways.
Key takeaways include:
- Leadership unfolds in conversations, not just strategies or decisions
- Presence determines whether leaders notice critical signals in real time
- Language can restore trust, alignment, and shared action
- Strong leaders listen for more than words, paying attention to timing and context
- Human connection remains essential, even as technology continues to evolve
Transcript
Transcripts are generated by machine learning, so typos may be present.
Dave (00:00)
Welcome to Leadership: The Secret Sauce, where extraordinary coaches and leaders reveal what makes them exceptional. We’re your hosts, Dave Lipsky and Matt Dodson.
Matt (00:13)
Together, let’s discover our guest’s secret sauce.
Dave (00:21)
Today’s episode is brought to you by Character Matters Coaching and Consulting. At Character Matters, we believe great leadership isn’t just about results. It’s about who you become along the way. From career transitions to team building, we help leaders unlock clarity, build resilience, and lead authentically, because when character grows, impact follows.
Visit: charactermatterscoaching.com
Matt (00:45)
In today’s episode, we have Mickey Connolly with us to uncover his secret sauce and a moment that’s stayed with him. We’re going to get into his story, the challenges, and what he’s seeing. You’ll want to stick around.
Matt (00:45)
Dave, I want to introduce Mickey.
Dave (01:05)
I’m excited to introduce and welcome Mickey. Before we started, we were reminiscing about a global program in Tokyo. I remember the amount of learning exceeded my capacity to digest it—that’s been my experience with Mickey for years.
My curiosity goes up tenfold anytime I’m in conversation with him. So Mickey, I didn’t bring you here just to compliment you—I want to start with a quick question.
On a scale from 1 to 10, what’s your energy level right now?
Mickey (02:07)
I’d say about an eight.
Dave (02:14)
Matt, where are you?
Matt (02:16)
Probably an eight and a half—maybe a nine.
Dave (02:20)
I’m coming in at a 7.5, so you guys will have to pick me up.
Mickey (02:28)
That doesn’t seem like a big lift.
Dave (02:42)
Let me ask: you’re on a plane, train, or automobile. Someone asks what you do—how do you respond?
Mickey (02:53)
I don’t have a packaged phrase. It depends on my experience of that person in that moment.
I don’t see those environments as places to sell anything. I want people to have their experience the way they’d like to have it. Sometimes the question is just to get through an awkward moment; other times there’s real curiosity.
The short version is:
I work with people and organizations to harness the power of communication to get more done with less time, money, and stress.
But it varies depending on who’s asking.
Matt (04:12)
You’re one of the few guests who’s done this work for decades. What would you have said 35 years ago?
Mickey (04:28)
When we started Conversant, Richard Rianoshek — co-founder — said something powerful.
He believed our work was helping heal the rift between the practical and the profound.
In most organizations, there’s a split between who I want to be and the work I have to get done. He believed we could help people accomplish things in a way that strengthens their sense of self.
Matt (06:17)
That’s powerful.
Matt (06:39)
We started this podcast because we love talking to coaches. Every coach’s story is unique. So when was your moment? What’s your “secret sauce”?
Mickey (07:11)
In the 1980s, I owned eight restaurants in Texas. I knew I was doing something right, but I didn’t fully understand why.
Mickey (07:11)
Then I read an article in 1985 that changed everything.
Mickey (08:50)
The passage said:
“Language is our meeting place… the sea we live in… It is in language we discover who we are… it is the common ground of our humanity.”
That hit me hard. I realized—I’m not a restaurant guy. I’m that guy.
Mickey (10:02)
Today, I’d say my contribution is this:
I appreciate and share the beauty, pleasure, and redemptive power of language.
Dave (11:06)
Where did that lead you?
Mickey (11:30)
I started a consulting firm. But I became frustrated—people would pay for advice and not implement it.
So I asked:
How do you communicate in a way that produces action?
That led me to philosophers and high-stakes negotiators—people who must influence action under pressure.
That inquiry shaped the next decade of my life.
Mickey (15:21)
Eventually, I left the restaurant business. My life became about communication, negotiation, and helping people become smarter together.
Matt (15:42)
If someone shadowed you today, what would they notice?
Mickey (16:05)
They’d notice that I ask questions people want to answer.
If you want to unlock conversation, ask questions that invite people in.
Also:
Wise leaders make the test for listening learning.
Not “Can I repeat your words?” but
“What did you give me that I didn’t have?”
Mickey (18:10)
Presence is critical.
For us, presence is awareness without prejudice.
Quiet, curious attention—fully available to another person.
Matt (19:12)
Are attention spans shrinking?
Mickey (21:26)
Presence is the answer to many things.
If your presence is weak, you miss signals.
If you miss signals, you miss the moment.
For leaders, that’s incredibly costly.
Mickey (22:03)
This is where practical meets profound.
Being fully present is deeply human—and highly practical because it leads to better decisions.
Dave (23:43)
How do you help leaders see this?
Mickey (23:59)
I start with what’s important to them.
People reveal themselves in three ways:
- Purpose
- Concerns
- Circumstances
Mickey (23:59)
If I understand those, I know where to begin.
Mickey (26:02)
There is no leadership challenge not improved by the quality of human connection.
That’s where I focus.
Matt (26:49)
What about AI—what should leaders and coaches do?
Mickey (27:49)
Conversations are the work.
AI may reduce the number of human interactions—but increase their importance.
So your ability to be conscious and intentional in conversation matters more.
Mickey (29:23)
You must learn how to ask AI great questions.
It’s still a conversation—just with a different form of intelligence.
Mickey (30:03)
AI won’t replace your ability to connect with people.
In fact, those human moments are becoming more valuable.
Mickey (31:04)
You’re not paid for time—you’re paid for knowing where to “hit the system.”
That’s leadership presence.
Mickey (32:30)
Differences + trust = brilliance.
The work is turning differences into intelligence, not argument.
Mickey (33:31)
A key leadership question:
What is the time for now?
Matt (34:02)
What do you want in a coach?
Mickey (34:02)
Someone who understands my purposes, concerns, and circumstances.
And someone patient enough to learn what’s in the “soup” before adding anything.
Matt (36:08)
What would you write today?
Mickey (36:22)
I’d build on Marcus Buckingham’s work on “I love that” moments.
Those moments drive engagement, retention, and fulfillment.
Mickey (38:03)
Our work on connection directly contributes to those “I love that” experiences.
The question becomes:
How do we design those moments into everyday work?
Matt (40:06)
It starts with loving the moment, then noticing the people.
Mickey (41:25)
Even practical leaders are talking about love in the workplace—appropriately and intentionally.
Dave (42:28)
Being in your presence makes me more curious.
Your question—“What is it time for now?”—has shaped my life.
Matt (43:01)
I’m inspired to invest more in deep human connection and listening.
Mickey (44:09)
It’s honorable to be with both of you, experienced, capable, and still growing.
Matt (44:29)
Where can people find you?
Mickey (44:38)
Visit conversant.com.
Also check out our podcast On Connection, and our video programs.
Dave (45:42)
Thanks for being with us.
Matt (45:47)
That’s a wrap. Share this with a leader who needs it, and keep discovering your secret sauce.
